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The Hidden Danger of Covert Narcissists: Why Protecting Yourself Might Not Be Enough - Stylin Spirit

The Hidden Danger of Covert Narcissists: Why Protecting Yourself Might Not Be Enough

Danielle A. Calise

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Image Source: Unsplash

‍Disclosure - this article may contain affiliate links for which I may receive compensation for their use. See full disclosure/disclaimer here: Disclaimer/Disclosure – Stylin Spirit (stylin-spirit.com)


Have you ever had a friend or acquaintance who seemed charming and charismatic on the surface, but something about them didn't quite sit right with you? Perhaps they had an insatiable need for attention and admiration, or they seemed to lack empathy for others. If so, you might have encountered a covert narcissist.

Covert narcissists are a type of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) that fly under the radar, making it difficult for others to detect their toxic behavior. Unlike their overt counterparts, who are grandiose and attention-seeking, covert narcissists are more introverted and withdrawn, often appearing shy or insecure.

In this article, we'll explore the hidden dangers of covert narcissists and why simply protecting yourself might not be enough. We'll delve into the warning signs of a covert narcissist, the toll their behavior can take on those around them, and how to protect yourself from their manipulative tactics.

I think it's important to understand the narcissist does not have a conscience, does not feel guilt or remorse. So, the actions they take against you will never negatively affect them emotionally. In fact, they will only view every hurt as a victory, the worse they hurt you, the bigger the victory. The more flying monkeys they create in their mission to destroy you, the more fuel they have in their war to defeat your humanity. Remember that no matter how much they take from you, it is your choice to rise from the ashes or not. For many, this is the hardest decision of them all and many get lost in the pain and anguish. 

What is a Covert Narcissist?

A covert narcissist is someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder but doesn't outwardly display the typical signs of grandiosity and attention-seeking behavior. Instead, they tend to be more introverted and withdrawn, often appearing shy or insecure.

Despite this, covert narcissists still have an insatiable need for attention and admiration. They may seek out positions of power or authority but are more likely to do so quietly and behind the scenes. They are also prone to feelings of envy and entitlement, often believing that they are special or unique and deserving of special treatment.

One of the defining characteristics of a covert narcissist is a lack of empathy for others. They may appear to be caring and compassionate on the surface, but deep down, they are primarily concerned with their own needs and desires. They may manipulate others to get what they want or use others to boost their own self-esteem.

The Difference between Overt and Covert Narcissists

While both overt and covert narcissists have a narcissistic personality disorder, they differ in how they display their behavior. Overt narcissists are more grandiose and attention-seeking, often boasting about their accomplishments and seeking out admiration from others.

Covert narcissists, on the other hand, are more introverted and withdrawn. They may appear shy or insecure and may not seek out attention or admiration in the same way that overt narcissists do. However, they still have an insatiable need for attention and admiration and lack empathy for others.

Both types of narcissists can be dangerous and damaging to those around them. However, the hidden nature of covert narcissists can make it more difficult for others to recognize their toxic behavior.

Signs of a Covert Narcissist

It can be challenging to spot a covert narcissist, as they are skilled at hiding their true intentions and manipulating others to get what they want. However, there are some warning signs to look out for that may indicate that someone is a covert narcissist.

Some of the most common signs of a covert narcissist include:

  • A lack of empathy for others
  • An insatiable need for attention and admiration
  • A sense of entitlement
  • A tendency to manipulate others to get what they want
  • A tendency to avoid responsibility for their actions
  • A tendency to play the victim when confronted with criticism or negative feedback
  • A tendency to be critical or judgmental of others
  • A tendency to be envious of others' accomplishments or success

If you notice these signs in someone you know, it's important to be cautious and take steps to protect yourself.

The Hidden Danger of Covert Narcissists

Covert narcissists can be incredibly damaging to those around them. They may manipulate others to get what they want, use others to boost their own self-esteem, and lack empathy for the feelings and experiences of others.

One of the most dangerous things about covert narcissists is their ability to fly under the radar. They may appear charming and charismatic on the surface, but their true intentions are often hidden. This can make it difficult for others to recognize the toxic behavior and protect themselves from its effects.

Covert narcissists can also be incredibly draining to be around. They may suck up all the attention and energy in a room, leaving others feeling depleted and exhausted. They may also be quick to criticize or judge others, making it difficult to build healthy relationships.

How to Protect Yourself from Covert Narcissists

Protecting yourself from the manipulative tactics of a covert narcissist can be challenging, but there are some steps you can take to safeguard yourself.

One of the most important things you can do is to set clear boundaries. Let the covert narcissist know what behaviors are unacceptable and what consequences will result if they continue to engage in those behaviors. Be firm and consistent in enforcing these boundaries.

It's also important to seek support from others. Surround yourself with people who are caring and compassionate and who can help you navigate the toxic behavior of the covert narcissist. A therapist or counselor can also be helpful in providing guidance and support.

Finally, it's essential to take care of yourself. Practice self-care activities like exercise, mindfulness, and meditation to help you manage stress and maintain your emotional well-being.

Why Protecting Yourself Might Not Be Enough

Protecting yourself from the effects of a covert narcissist is important, but it may not be enough. The toxic behavior of a covert narcissist can have long-lasting effects on your emotional well-being, and it may take time and effort to heal from those effects.

They will engage so many other people in their vendetta against you and will never truly know who or how many people they have converted into flying monkeys. They could be your closest friends or even family members. This means that your guard must be up. While you may believe that you will be able to change these people's minds with the truth and proof, you most likely won't. Flying monkeys are typically very devout members of a cult devoted to the narcissist. 

You will feel alone and isolated if you are the target of a narcissist. You are not. 

In some cases, seeking professional help may be necessary. A therapist or counselor can help you work through the trauma of dealing with a covert narcissist and provide you with tools and strategies to manage the effects of their behavior.

It's also important to remember that healing from the effects of a covert narcissist takes time. Be patient with yourself and give yourself the space and support you need to heal.

Conclusion

Dealing with a covert narcissist can be challenging and draining, but it's essential to take steps to protect yourself from their toxic behavior. Look out for warning signs, set clear boundaries, seek support from others, and practice self-care activities to help you manage stress and maintain your emotional well-being.

Remember that healing from the effects of a covert narcissist takes time, but with patience and support, it is possible to move forward and create healthy and fulfilling relationships.

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