Who Uses Coercive Control and Why? An Insight into the Abuser's Mindset

July 29, 2024 Danielle A. Calise

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Coercive control, a subtle form of domestic abuse, often operates under the radar. It's a complex web of psychological manipulation and intimidation that leaves victims feeling trapped and powerless. To combat this, understanding the abuser's mindset is crucial. It's a journey into the psychology behind this behavior, empowering us with knowledge to recognize and combat coercive control.

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The Psychology behind Coercive Control

Abusers who use coercive control tactics often have deep-seated psychological issues that drive their behavior. One of the primary motivations for coercive control is a need for control. Abusers may feel insecure and powerless in other areas of their lives, so they use coercive control to assert dominance and maintain control over their partner.

Another key factor that drives coercive control is a distorted sense of entitlement. Abusers may feel that they are entitled to certain privileges or treatment from their partner, and they use coercive control tactics to enforce their expectations. This sense of entitlement may stem from a belief that they are superior to their partner or from a history of being mistreated.

Finally, abusers who use coercive control tactics may suffer from a lack of empathy. They may not be able to understand or relate to their partner's feelings, which makes it easier for them to use manipulative tactics without feeling guilty. This lack of empathy can also make it difficult for them to recognize the harm they are causing to their partner.

Who Uses Coercive Control and Why?

Coercive control can happen in any relationship, regardless of gender, age, or sexual orientation. However, research suggests that men are more likely to use coercive control tactics than women. Abusers may come from a variety of backgrounds, but some common risk factors increase the likelihood of coercive control. These include:

A history of domestic violence or abuse
A history of mental health issues or substance abuse
A history of being abused or neglected as a child
Low self-esteem or feelings of inadequacy
A need for control or power in relationships

It's important to note that these risk factors do not excuse or justify coercive control. Rather, they help us understand why someone may use these tactics in a relationship.

Signs and Symptoms of Coercive Control

Coercive control can be difficult to detect, as it often happens subtly over time. However, there are some common signs and symptoms to watch for. These include:

Isolating the victim from friends and family
Monitoring the victim's every move, including phone calls and social media
Using threats or intimidation to control the victim
Limiting the victim's access to money, transportation, or other resources
Gaslighting or manipulating the victim's perception of reality
Using physical violence or the threat of violence to maintain control

If you suspect that someone you know is experiencing coercive control, it's important to approach the situation with sensitivity and empathy. Victims of coercive control may feel trapped and powerless, so it's crucial to listen to their concerns and offer support without judgment.

The Impact of Coercive Control on Victims

The effects of coercive control can be devastating for victims. In addition to physical harm, victims may experience long-term psychological trauma, including:

Anxiety and depression
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness
Difficulty trusting others
Social isolation and loneliness

Victims of coercive control may also struggle with financial instability, as abusers often limit their access to money and resources. It's important to remember that the impact of coercive control can last long after the relationship has ended.

How to Recognize Coercive Control in Relationships

Recognizing coercive control in relationships can be challenging, as it often happens gradually over time. However, there are some warning signs to watch for. These include:

A partner who insists on knowing your every move
A partner who tries to control your appearance or behavior
A partner who belittles or criticizes you, either in private or in public
A partner who threatens you or your loved ones
A partner who limits your access to money or resources
A partner who tries to isolate you from friends and family

If you or someone you know is experiencing any of these warning signs, remember, you're not alone. It's important to seek help as soon as possible. There are professionals and resources ready to support you. Don't hesitate to reach out, as seeking help is the first step towards breaking free from coercive control.

How to Get Help for Victims of Coercive Control

If you or someone you know is experiencing coercive control, it's important to seek help from a trained professional. This may include:

A therapist or counselor who specializes in domestic abuse
A domestic violence hotline or shelter
A lawyer who specializes in domestic abuse cases

It's important to remember that leaving an abusive relationship can be difficult and dangerous. Victims of coercive control may need to take steps to protect themselves and their loved ones, such as obtaining a restraining order or seeking shelter in a safe location.

The Legal Consequences of Coercive Control

Coercive control is a criminal offense in many countries, including the United Kingdom and Australia. No federal law specifically addresses coercive control in the United States, but some states have laws that criminalize this behavior. Penalties for coercive control may include fines, imprisonment, or mandatory counseling.

Resources for Victims and Survivors

There are many resources available for victims and survivors of coercive control. These include:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: https://ncadv.org/
Women's Aid (UK): https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
1800RESPECT (Australia): https://www.1800respect.org.au/

It's important to remember that help is available and that no one deserves to experience coercive control.

Conclusion and Call to Action

Coercive control is a pervasive and often hidden form of domestic abuse. Understanding the abuser's mindset can help us recognize the warning signs and take action to protect ourselves and our loved ones. By supporting victims and survivors and holding abusers accountable for their actions, we can work towards a world free from coercive control and domestic violence.